Can It Be, That This is All That There Is? by Donna Darkwolf

from:  Donna darkwolf@netactive.co.za
to:  moreno franco morenofranco.design@gmail.com
date:  Mar 22, 2017, 7:07 AM
subject:  Can It Be That This is All That There Is?

All this love and passion? Shortened into a last gasp of air before you go under?
I do not think so
You are making The Path of Reality
Without the Path, we are lost
And I rely upon you, my dear Minion
We have loved and we have fought

You – more than any other man in my life
Has held it together, when I go on one of my rapid –cycling bi-polar episodes
With you I am just a massive wave crashing on an immovable rock
In a million miles of sea.

When the tides still – the rock is still there. With a mermaid clinging to it.

Can It Be That This is All That There Is?
You “keep your friends close. but your enemies closer”
to quote Sun Tzu in his book: “The Art of War”
That you have quoted parts of to me, so many times

The single thing about you that terrifies me most is
You never argue, or freak out when I am going ballistic
And the more I rant and curse, the icier you become
I can see you solidifying into ice, right in front of me.

I can see the eyes that love me turn into gun barrels
And somewhere in my rage I know I have to get control of my self
And even when I attack you physically
You do not defend yourself, or fight me
Or get violent or afraid
You just pull me into your embrace
And hold me – “your enemy closer”
Until I calm

Can It Be That This is All That There Is?
I am fighting this illness
And I have my beautiful soldier, who is my Rock, for me left to cling to
I so love you, believe in you, believe in us
That I am a witch who needs a safe place
And that safe place is inside this soldier

And in the morning – it is as if none of it happened.
You mention none of it
No recrimination. No accusation. Nothing.
I feel so-o-o-o kak!

"I love you", the first words out of your mouth
And guilt-ridden as I am feeling, you tell me to get dressed, we are going for a drive to have breakfast at Ons Huisie.
You kiss me and my heart explodes with happiness...

Can It Be That This is All That There Is?
Re-Set. Re-Boot. Re-Start?
You remind me of Tom Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow
Live. Die. Repeat.

That you made me watch.
In order to understand what I was going through.
Bit by bit, getting through My Mission. As you call it.
You are NOT on A Mission, Soldier!!!
YOU ARE THE MISSION!

You taught me to understand colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now
“I watched a snail - crawl up the edge of a straight razor – and survive”
And told me: “You are the Captain of this Mission. Get your arse into Gear, LADY!”
Said with such disdainful force
“I am just your Flight Lieutenant – Order It! I will make it So!

Can It Be That This is All That There Is?
The only soldier I ever knew was my father.
Such a gentle and loving man
But I never saw the soldier because he was my father
And now I am living with a soldier

You left the Army! The Army never left you.
Every night I sleep in a bed with a man, with a dangerous gun
He is like a watch dog. Alert.
My dog protecting me.
A cold black combat knife near my heart.
To defend me.
A sneaking Stainless Steel Rat
Ready to give up his life on my behalf

Can It Be That This is All That There Is?
You make me crazy
Your gravelly voice
You excite me bec no man has ever kept me safe
As you do

Maybe some of my madness stems from the fact
That I cannot break you
Like I have broken all those Mani’s, Gavin’s, and assholes
And I can finally go to sleep knowing
I have a soldier
Who loves me
My soldier

Thank you my franco
For all your love
Now. I suppose I will have to love you
For all Eternity again
As I always have - your Little Mermaid

Now, Minion of mine, I want to go to Ons Huisie restaurant for breakfast tomorrow - and we can listen to
Pink Martini - Let's Never Stop Falling in Love  - that I love to dance to

Your Immortal Bella Donna

ROMA VICTOR!

At Breakfast with a Warrior-Priestess

One can never be sure. She might be as becalmed as as a windless Ocean. Or, restive - as the wind stirring amongst the tree tops.
She may be bubbly and talkative. Or, pensive and withdrawn.

She once said to me: "Unlike other men... You never ask me what I am thinking".
To which I abruptly replied: "I have no care for what you are thinking. They are just thoughts. Meaningless. Until they are uttered".
Once you 'Make Words with Your Mouth'.... Ahhh! There starts the problem.
Thoughts have no meaning at all.
Words have CONSEQUENCE. Once uttered... NEVER able to be recalled... The dog is off the leash... the bolt has left the bow...
"Hence THINK before you SPEAK!"

"So! Witch! What are you thinking?"

"I am hungry, Minion of mine... When our breakfast arrives... I will tell you how much I love you.
Until then - I want you to tell me how much you love me..." laughing gayly at her own response.

I tell Donna: "Love is about living long enough to have breakfast with the one you love - with out dying in ones sleep".

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