Sent as I depart - From Dale.
About your "Imperatrix Mundi - Queen of the World"
Who can write a word after Franco’s poem ... or gathering of words that
are so honest and from the heart? The heart is the place of many battles,
many triumphs and many failures. To Lawrence Durrell I owe, “Who invented
the human heart? And show me the place where he is hanged.” But, when all
is done, the intellect comes a very distant second.
I am out of words of my own, and it is difficult to step away from making
this about me, about what I want and what I wish for. It is about you and
the right to choose. You have, for me, been my Phoenix who falls and rises
again from the ashes to embrace yet another challenge. The Phoenix, of
course, has to embrace remarkable courage in order to do this, and you
have always had way more than I of this.
I believe very firmly in circles and cycles; some visible and some invisible,
and that this Phoenix – or any manifestation of the Phoenix – carries courage
and daring in worlds I cannot see. So you, my Phoenix, are never lost to
me. What I mourn, I mourn selfishly.
What a curious confluence of journeys brought you and I together, both
in the early distancing and in the later coming together. I am so grateful
for all of it. You have spoken and you have listened. You have made me
laugh and wow you have made me think. You get me which many don’t and our
journey has been a privilege for me. I like you. This you know. I admire
your unbounded generosity, your strong sense of ethics and respect that
cuts through the bullshit, and much more besides.
Today you said that Franco has a great capacity to love. This is a gift
and I believe you have it too.
“I loved him/her against reason, against promise, against peace, against
hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” Charles
Dickens from Great Expectations.
Franco might understand these words that are of my story except that the
paradox is that, parallel to these words/truths, is that there is simultaneously
reason, hope, happiness and peace. That is the capacity to love, really
love, when one embraces all of that in its totality. There are, of course,
no other options. You are in that circle.
I have no concrete idea about anything beyond our worldly existence, but
I do know the reality of big holes that are left by absences that matter.
I might fall in that hole yet again, as I do often, but whether it be on
the way down or on yet another clamour out, I have only thanks, gratitude
and deep respect. This you also know oh, wise one.
And salute!
